The art of getting by

One way I cope with life is I try to see the beauty in things around me, took this picture of the sunset recently.

October was a very difficult month, when I was making plans to leave the US and move back home, I thought by October I would have a job and would be getting back on my two feet financially but that has not been the case. I have applied to quite a number of jobs and have not heard from any, this has been discouraging to be honest. When I hear of stories of people applying for jobs for more than a year or two, I wonder if my patience threshold is just too low considering that I have not applied to a single job in more than 2 weeks. Mentally, it has been a struggle to stay afloat lately, I think years of getting by without seeking professional help are finally getting to me. The one time I went to counselling was in college, and the counselor was more focused on the fact that I had a great GPA, which meant I should be fine. She never read between the lines or tried to understand. This experience discouraged me from trying to get help again, lately though I have been considering it. When I read about the mental health crises that are happening in Malawi lately, I wonder about how much we sweep under the rug and carry on as if things are normal. What are we doing to make sure we are ok?  I believe getting organized which has been on my to do list for a while now is one way I can do this and I am going to start giving it my all. Time management is something that I also struggle with, I can never do things on time, I take too much time with tasks as such I end up having little time left to do other things. I also get very easily distracted and carried away with things, this does not help my concentration levels, I once had up to 90 something tabs open on my phone’s internet browser, I know that this might be a common occurrence but I find it problematic, I like to focus on a few things at a time, deal with them and move on to the next set of things. When I was younger, I was able to easily focus on a task, get it completed and do other things, these days I can’t seem to do that, maybe I should blame technology for my shortened attention span, lol. I have taken up jogging as a way of letting off steam and to lose some weight and in true me fashion, I have not gone at all this week. It is quite exhilarating to run in the morning though, one of my favourite things about getting up early is watching the sun come up in all its glory. Getting up early makes me feel like I have accomplished something already and I want to get this feeling often. I have been trying to get myself to write but I always end up getting caught up with chores or watching Telemundo and yes I do watch Telemundo, I have even began considering a career as telenovela actor, it definitely would be fun. I love to write and would like to have my scholarly work in particular, be published soon. Hopefully by putting this out in the public, I will be encouraged to do better and work on everything I have talked about. I believe seeking professional help might also do the trick and will definitely explore how I can do this. The Sopranos is considered the greatest tv show ever made and I gotta say, even though I watched just some episodes of the first season, I agree that it is the greatest tv show for one reason and one reason alone, to repeat what I said on my whatsapp status a few weeks ago, if the head of the mafia is going to therapy, then who am I not to?

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